


tell me i'm a bad man (kick me like a stray)

by xofrnakxo



Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Catholic AU, Catholic Eddie Kaspbrak, Catholic Imagery, Demon AU, M/M, Rating will change, rotting imagery, tags will be updated as I go, will become explicit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24739177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xofrnakxo/pseuds/xofrnakxo
Summary: Eddie was a good boy. That was it. He went to Church every Sunday, twice a week if he was feeling particularly up to it. He attended bible study after school on Fridays, had a front row space in the school’s choir and always said ten Hail Mary’s knelt in front of his bed before he went to sleep every night. He was a good Catholic boy and that was that. He was happy as just that.---------------Eddie Kaspbrak has never done anything wrong in his life, a sweet Catholic from the town of Derry. Of course, he's not perfect, but who is? However, when Richie Tozier joins The Immaculate Heart High School and sets his sights on becoming Eddie's new best friend, Eddie begins to see his religion in an entirely new light and realises that the world is maybe not as clear-cut as he thought it might be.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 19
Kudos: 47





	tell me i'm a bad man (kick me like a stray)

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first chaptered reddie fic !! thanks to my friends for encouraging me to write this, theyre lowkey the best
> 
> just letting you know that this story will turn explicit. i have it all planned out. however, its teen and up audiences for now because i know how much i hate it when i click on a fic that's marked explicit and it turns out there's no smut in it lmao.
> 
> also warnings for a little bit of gorey imagery. its not much in this chapter, but their will be in further chapters too.
> 
> the title of this story is from "house of wolves" and the title of the first chapter is from "thank you for the venom" , both by my chemical romance (just outting myself as a dirty emo , you know)
> 
> annnd i think that's it. link to my tumblr will be at the end notes if you wanna catch up with me on there and yep, that's pretty much it !!!
> 
> enjoy x

There was a buzz in the halls of The Immaculate Heart High School, people talking lowly under their breaths in a way that meant gossip was afoot. Derry was a small town and when there was news, there was  _ news _ . Eddie suspiciously eyed a group of girls giggling around their lockers as they whispered and vaguely wondered  _ are they laughing at me?  _ It was likely not the case, but, as an insecure teen, it flitted through his mind regularly that teenage girls were laughing at him behind his back. Girls made Eddie nervous in the same way that heights or extremely loud noises did. His palms got sweaty and his stomach felt like it was about to drop. He supposed it was normal at his age, to get nervous around girls, just turned 18 and naive about that sort of thing. Eddie tried to convince himself it was because he found them pretty, in their short plaid skirts and knee-high socks. 

In first period, English, Eddie found out what all the buzz was about. 

“I heard he just moved in from Portland.”

“I thought he’d come from New York.”

Hushed voices whispered loudly, telling Eddie that there was a new student floating around the halls of the school. He was surprised he hadn’t seen the boy yet; usually new students were a sight for sore eyes. Everyone in Derry knew everybody else and it was only a matter of time before your secrets were spread about town and laid bare for each person to stare at and scrutinise until you were broken down into tiny bite-size pieces, small enough for each townsman to chew up and spit out. Eddie was lucky enough to have never done anything exciting enough to be put under the studious gaze of Greta Bowie and her group of insanely annoying friends, who spread gossip around like butter on toast.

Eddie was a good boy. That was it. He went to Church every Sunday, twice a week if he was feeling particularly up to it. He attended bible study after school on Fridays, had a front row space in the school’s choir and always said ten Hail Mary’s knelt in front of his bed before he went to sleep every night. He was an altar boy until he was 16 years old, donning the white robes for Sunday service and weddings and funerals and he refused to take the money offered by happy couples and grieving families for doing so because that’s the kind of boy Eddie was. He was a good Catholic boy and that was that. He was  _ happy  _ as just that. 

Eddie met the new boy in his fifth class of the day, just after lunch hour. Eddie had sat with his small group of friends and let them gossip away about the new student, content to sit and listen to Beverly Marsh spill the tea on Immaculate Heart’s latest victim while he nibbled on the crust of his ham sandwich. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard. No one knew much about the new boy, where he had come from or what he was doing here. Some had guessed that his family had moved to Derry overnight, but no one had seen or heard any sort of moving van. Others had speculated that he might have been fostered or adopted, but again there was no evidence to back up the claims.

“He’s a mystery,” Bev had said, a little too excitedly for Eddie’s liking. Stan had rolled his eyes and scoffed. 

“How mysterious can he be?” the blonde had asked, no time for meaningless gossip, and Eddie somewhat agreed with him until he had spent a class in his midst.

Religious Studies was Eddie’s least favourite class, as ironic as that was with him being such a religious boy. His teacher loved him, of course, due to the fact he always handed in his essays on time and his efforts to attend Bible study group each week, but that made people in his class  _ hate  _ him. He’d found himself ostracised, cast out by the rest of the students that found RS extremely boring and he didn’t share the class with any of his actual friends, which left him sitting ashamedly at the front in a two seater desk by himself. It was embarrassing and Eddie found himself crouching small during each lesson just so he didn’t have to hear the jabs and jeers of his peers that were obviously aimed at him. 

It was halfway through one of this classes, his teacher prattling on about a new podcast she was listening to that was recorded by some priest and how technology was created by the devil but by using it to praise God her students could use his tricks against him, when a dark haired boy sauntered into the room. Everyone went silent, even Mrs Davis stopping her ranting to peer at him. Eddie turned his head towards the door to see what the fuss was about and he physically had to clench his jaw shut to stop it from opening, which would have left him looking like a gormless goldfish. Eddie wasn’t even sure why he was so enthralled by the sight of this boy.

Upon first glance, the student looked like any average eighteen year old boy who thought that being edgy and listening to Lil Peep made you kind of cool; curly black hair that was a little too long to be up to the dress code and tall. He wore black frames, but even so his face was handsome, angular features giving him a defined jawline and cheekbones. Despite his seemingly averagely handsome appearance, there was just  _ something  _ about this boy which meant Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off of him. It was possibly the air of confidence he had around him that made him feel cocky enough that he was able to stride into the room half an hour late with no hall pass, or the cheeky grin on his face as he did so, taking the seat directly across from Eddie. Mrs Davis stared at the boy for a moment longer, the class sitting in an awkward silence, before she coughed and broke the spell he had somehow cast.

“And you are..?” she asked, almost as if she was scared to speak. That was interesting, Eddie thought as he eyed the interaction that was going on, taking it all in.

“Richard Tozier, miss,” the boy- Richard- said, still smirking. “But you can just call me Richie.” God, it was a line from a cringey teen chick flick, and yet all the girls had begun to giggle. Eddie could see them in his mind; twirling their hair around their fingers and chewing their gum with loud open mouthed smacks, hoping that the new boy would take pity on them and give them attention. Richie looked like the type to do so, too. He gave off the vibe of a boy who had millions of girls numbers in his phone. Eddie nearly scoffed and rolled his eyes, but avoided it for the time being; he didn’t need the eyes of this asshole on him too.

The teacher raised her eyebrow at Richie and Eddie was sure that she was about to say something, maybe even kick him out of class for being insolent. Richie may have thought something like that probably wouldn’t get him in trouble- it probably wouldn’t be anywhere near an offense in the last public school that he was at, but teachers at Immaculate Heart were known to still use corporal punishment on their students in the form of wooden rulers and soap on tongues. Despite the fact that this was common practice in Eddie’s school, the teacher’s mouth shut after a couple of moments and she turned back to the board, carrying on with her lesson. Eddie furrowed his brow, turning his head to look at the boy who had somehow escaped Mrs Davis’ wrath.

He almost jumped out of his seat when he realised that the boy was staring right at him. Eddie’s eyes widened as Richie’s lips curled up into a sickly-looking grin, the tip of his tongue pressed to the nick of his teeth as he tapped a pen against his chin, obviously not listening to what their teacher had to say. Or maybe he was, because as her voice warbled higher about how youths were surely all going to die at the hands of the sins of ‘The Instagram’, he grabbed both his hands around his neck and mimicked choking, eyes rolling back into his head. Whilst the rest of the class- mainly the girls- snickered out at the blatant display of disrespect for their teacher, Eddie turned his head back to the front of the classroom, at least trying to pay attention and ignore the fact that it felt like there was a burning sensation on the back of his neck that he knew the imprint of Richie’s eyes was. 

Eddie ended up praying that class would end sooner rather than later and as the bell chimed, signalling that his requests for help had been answered, he was shoving his books into his bag as fast as he could and practically running out of the room. It was almost stifling how hot the room had gotten and Eddie wanted to blame it on the summer air fighting its way back into the town of Derry, leaving them all feeling sticky and sweaty and hazy, but deep down he knew that his flustered demeanor had only one cause. 

He tried not to think about it too much, reminding himself that he and his mother were heading to the church that night to help clear out some of the trash. He could seek refuge from his thoughts there for a few hours at least.

\---------------

Ever since he was a little kid, Eddie had loved going to his church. It was a large cathedral that sat in the middle of Derry Town Centre like a monument, a meeting point for everyone; black, white, old, young. It was the most welcoming place Eddie had ever been, the comforting gleams of light shining through the stained glass windows making the lay people’s stern faces as they sang hymns almost dazzle. _ Like angels, _ baby Eddie would think as he hummed his way through Be Not Afraid. 

Eddie remembered being small and his parents talking to the priest after Sunday mass, giving him free reign to explore the empty church for a little while. He had stood in front of the large ceramic Virgin Mary statue in the left hand corner at the front of the church, mimicking her hands that were clasped in a prayer motion and running his fingers over her bare feet where she stood on the snake, crushing it. Back then, Eddie hadn’t known that the snake represented sin, and he would also run his small fingers over the head of the serpent where it struggled for breath, over its forked tongue. He would always feel bad for the snake, not understanding why Mary was being so mean to one of God’s creatures. It wasn’t until months later, when he and his classmates were learning about the story of Adam and Eve, that Eddie understood what the meaning behind the art was. He never ran his fingers over the snake again and he always took care to douse his fingers with Holy Water to bless himself as he left the Church, feeling as though the snake’s beady eyes were following him wherever he went. 

Once he got a little older, Eddie was allowed to become an altar boy. He remembered how proud he had been looking at himself in the mirror in the sacristy and running his hands down his chest, smoothing out the linen. He hadn’t been able to tie the rope around his waist correctly and Father Gray came over, tutting and running his hand down Eddie’s back slowly until he reached the tie at his waist, undoing the tight knot Eddie had done with clean and precise fingers before tying it again. He always squeezed Eddie’s waist once he had finished, staring down at him in the mirror while he murmured, “Looks good.” Those were some of the proudest moments of Eddie’s life. 

Eddie’s church held sad memories too. His dad’s funeral had been held here when he was 12 years old. His dad had been sick for a long while. A mixture of smoking cigarettes and working on a construction site had caused Frank Kaspbrak to develop lung cancer. He died at the age of 47 at the hospital. Eddie hadn’t been allowed to see his father when he died. He had been sitting in the waiting room, flicking through the paperback he was supposed to be reading for school when a nurse came to find him. She had crouched in front of Eddie and explained that sometimes people that you loved passed away. It had taken a few moments for Eddie to realise what she meant. He had cried, not in the way a child does when they fell off of their bike or realised that someone had eaten the last of their Halloween candy. The tears had been silent, trekking down his face slowly. The nurse had reached out and squeezed Eddie’s shoulder before standing up, going to see to the rest of her duties.

It had been a close-casket funeral. By the time it came around to it, Eddie couldn’t remember how his father had looked in the days upcoming to his death. All he had to remember him was a small photo framed on his bedside table; his mom had removed every other photo of her husband from around the house, prone to bursting out into loud sobbing cries every five minutes. Taking away his photos prolonged crying fits to intervals of ten minutes, but it was an improvement. Eddie had never been to a funeral before this, his mom keeping him home for others. He hated the smell of the incense that poured from the thurible and when he breathed it in it had made his lungs hurt. He had to swallow continuously to stop himself from breaking into a coughing fit and pulled his inhaler from his too-big-blazer jacket, taking a couple quick puffs to calm the screaming sensation in his lungs. He’d read a poem, something his teacher had helped him pick out during recess a couple days before. He hadn’t understood why so many women he had never seen in his life were bawling their eyes out by the time he was done, shakily walking back to the front pew to sit down next to his mother. He threw dirt into the hole where his father’s body lay, protected by a large wooden box and had retreated as soon as it was possible to go and wash his hands about fifteen times. For a young boy, he hated dirt. Overall, it had been a very clinical procedure and Eddie only cried once he was back in the sanctuary of his own bedroom, clutching the photo of him and his dad against his chest and asking god a simple question-  _ why? _

Now that Eddie was 18, he no longer blamed his God for what had happened in seventh grade. His father was a distant memory and it honestly had gotten him out of a lot of sticky spots. Forgotten homework or plans Eddie no longer wanted to attend coming up? The anniversary of his father’s death was approaching and it was too painful for Eddie to work or be happy hanging out when all he could think about was the pain of losing his dad. He knew it was unchristian of him but sometimes you had to use your father’s death to your advantage. God hadn’t smited him for it yet.

Eddie was walking through the pews, picking up some of the rote sheets that had been left behind from mass the previous morning. His mother was close friends with Father Gray, a close bond forming between them after the death of Frank. She would often invite the priest around for dinners or family functions and oftentimes the priest would accept. It wasn’t as though it was odd; priests often took charity from their church’s lay people as a way to survive and Sonia Kaspbrak enjoyed having the company. Eddie thought it was maybe because her mother had a crush on the priest. By clergy standards, he was pretty young to be an ordained minister and Eddie supposed he was quite good looking. Girls at his school would coo and crow their way through mass and fight to be first in line to accept Communion from his fingers, pink tongues peaking out of their mouths before sultrily murmuring, “ _ Amen _ ,” and running back to the pews to giggle with their friends as they knelt and pretended to pray the Hail Mary. 

Because of his mother’s relationship with the priest, however, Eddie often found himself carrying out roles at his church, even though he had left behind altar serving once he had turned sixteen. He honestly didn’t mind it so much; if it meant that God’s home would be clean then he was happy to help, going about polishing chalices and dusting statues. He still stayed far away from the statue of the Virgin Mary, however, finding that he was still spooked by the serpent’s eyes. 

He had jumped a little as he turned around from his crouching position where he was picking up a loose piece of paper to meet Father Gray’s eyes. The priest was smiling at him kindly and Eddie immediately relaxed. “Good afternoon, Father,” he greeted, holding the bundle of paper to his chest and smiling at him just as brightly. He considered his priest one of his greatest friends; someone he could tell all his secrets to without fear of judgement and then immediately being absolved of them with a simple prescribed Our Father. It was a system that Eddie found comfort in. He blinked over Gray’s shoulder to see his mother, smiling at him proudly. He knew his mother was overjoyed that her son had such a meaningful relationship with his pastor and Eddie couldn’t help but feel warm inside under her gaze. 

“Good afternoon to you too, Edward,” the priest always called him by his full name. It made Eddie blush, a little flustered because he didn’t exactly like his name. He always found it a little embarrassing, especially when the girl’s in his class would giggle because the substitute teacher had called him his given name and he had to explain that, “ _ It’s just Eddie, miss. _ ” Whenever Father Gray said it, though, it was never cruel or teasing. It was always with a genuine smile that made Eddie feel really good about himself. “Your mother here tells me that you’ve been doing well at school recently, is that true?”

“I have,” Eddie smiled bashfully, fiddling with the edge of the paper sheets in his hands.

“Eddie wants to go to New York to study business, isn’t that right Eddie-bear?” Sonia asked and Eddie’s grip tightened on the paper as he tried not to be overwhelmingly embarrassed at the fact Sonia called him that gross awful nickname in front of the priest. Instead, he simply nodded and he was glad that Father Gray didn’t even seem to acknowledge the fact that Sonia had said something that sounded so utterly revolting. “I keep trying to convince him to go to college in the state but he has his heart set on Columbia.” She sighed almost passive aggressively and Eddie had to take a deep breath to avoid having this argument with his mother  _ again _ .

Father Gray’s laugh pulled him from his annoyance, his features and grip on the poor innocent paper softening. The priest’s hand reached out to touch Eddie’s arm and began rubbing up and down. “Does this mean you’ve given up on your dreams of joining the clergy, Mr Kaspbrak?” he asked teasingly, his hand coming to a stop on Eddie’s shoulder and squeezing gently. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten that little tidbit you told me.” Eddie laughed a little too, shaking his head and looking down at the ground. Even though he knew Father Gray was only being playful the thought of disappointing the priest who had become a father-like figure to him was almost sickening. 

“I’m afraid so,” Eddie tried to joke, hiding the fact he was disappointed in himself despite the fact Gray obviously wasn’t disappointed in him. “You know, expanding my horizons and stuff..” He cut himself off with an awkward laugh. There was another squeeze on his shoulder and Eddie looked up, meeting the priest’s eyes which were warm as ever. Eddie felt instantly settled.

“No worries, my boy,” the priest told him before pulling his hand away, sticking it in the pocket of his black slacks. Eddie found the outfit that the priest wore when he was out of his vestments quite classy, actually. “I’ll be happy to help you find a church in New York if you would like? I have a few clergymen friends down there and I’m sure that I could help you find the right church and priest for you.” Eddie’s heart filled with warmth and he nodded. 

“That would be great, Father!” he grinned excitedly, grasping the papers to his chest tightly in exhilaration. His eyes met his mother’s for a moment, which were stern, and he quickly added, “Thank you very much,” to the end of his sentence. Father Gray laughed, reaching out to pat Eddie’s shoulder once more.

“No problem Eddie. Anything for my favourite altar boy.” Eddie flushed once again at the old nickname and his mother beamed so widely that Eddie thought that if the wind changed her face would be stuck in such a position. “Well, I guess I better let you two get back to what you were doing. I’m trying to prepare my homily for next Sunday.”

“Oh, it's no problem Father, me and Eddie are happy to help,” Sonia simpered and Eddie had to hold back the urge to vomit. 

“I know Sonia, your kindness means so much,” Father Gray smiled, giving Eddie’s mother’s shoulder a small pat. Eddie tried not to feel smug that Gray had spent more attention on him during this interaction rather than his mother. “Eddie, you know where to find me when you want to discuss New York.” 

“Yes, thank you,” Eddie smiled, waving a little pathetically as the priest walked away. He turned back to his mother and smiled at her pleased expression. He made his way out of the tight pew so she could wrap him in her oversized arms.

“I’m so proud of you, Eddie-Bear,” she murmured into his hair before pressing a kiss to his head. “You finish clearing up the aisles and I’ll finish with the statues, okay?” Eddie nodded and went back to his work, clearing up the rest of the papers and going to grab the brush to sweep. By the time they had finished, it was dinner time and the Kaspbraks were hungry. As they made their way out of the church to head home, Eddie avoided the beady eyes of the snake as he doused his hand in the font, running his fingers over his face and shoulders in a cross motion before they crossed from the clean Church into the gross streets of Derry once more.

\---------------

Eddie’s mom had been so happy with him, she’d let him have ice cream after dinner. Ice cream was only saved for special occasions, like birthdays. Even though it was only simple vanilla, Eddie savoured every spoonful of the treat, going so far as to lick the bowl when he thought his mom wasn’t looking. People often raised an eyebrow when they saw Eddie and his mom attending school fairs and church meetings because they looked nothing alike. Eddie was a small, skinny boy due to his mother’s incessant worrying that he would get heart disease and die. She allowed him to try out for one sport- track team- because running wasn’t inherently dangerous and exercise was good for his weakened lungs. Sonia, on the other hand, was a large hulk of a woman. She blamed it on her, “ _ slow metabolism _ ,” but Eddie knew that when he went to his bedroom every night to keep on top of his homework, she was eating her way through the contents of the fridge. 

As he bid his mother goodnight with a kiss on the cheek, letting her get on with her snacking, he had a terrible thought pass through his head of his mother passing away due to a heart attack. Silent so that Eddie wouldn’t realise until he woke up the next morning and found her sitting in her chair still, cold and stinking of shit. He pulled back and stared at her for a few minutes, blinking to make sure it wasn’t true. She had looked back at him with worried eyes, reaching out to brush her fingers over his forehead to check his temperature.

“Are you okay, Eddie-bear?” she asked, voice laced with fear. “Are you feeling sick? Maybe it was the ice cream. I knew we should’ve had you tested for lactose intolerance while we had the chance-”

“I’m okay, ma, don’t worry,” Eddie told her, kissing her cheek again and pulling back. “I’m going to finish my homework. Good night.”

“Don’t forget your prayers, Eddie,” she reminded him, like Eddie ever did so. He didn’t fight though, never did. He simply nodded and made his way up the stairs, trailing his fingers over the banister as he went. 

Eddie’s room didn’t look like a teenage boy’s room at all. Sonia wasn’t a decorator and his room hadn’t been updated since his father passed. In fact, a lot of the house hadn’t been updated since then. His father had been a builder and would often do home improvements around the house. Without him, the Kaspbrak’s couldn’t afford much home improvement at all. Their limited money supply was spent on food and the bills. Therefore, Eddie’s room was kind of an empty hollow shell. He had a basic cream carpet and the walls were still painted a blue from when he was 10 and decided that it was his favourite colour. Half off it had peeled off of the walls, however, but Sonia didn’t allow him to put up posters so he simply had large patches of plaster showing. It wasn’t like anybody came into his room to see for Eddie to be embarrassed anyway. Furniture was simple; a basic twin bed, a wardrobe, a bookshelf filled to the brim with comics and a desk with his school books on top of it. There was no laptop. They couldn’t afford it. Eddie was happy to go to the library if he needed it. His bedside cabinet held a lamp, an old-fashioned alarm clock and a Holy Bible. It was simple and Eddie was happy.

He sat at his desk until around eleven pm, writing until his fingers got cramps and it was no longer light outside his window. He shut his French dictionary, tidying his things away neatly and packing his bag for the next day. He grabbed his pyjamas and made his way to the bathroom for his nightly shower. Wash, get out, get dry, put on pyjamas, take medication and brush teeth. Eddie didn’t stray from his routine. He ran his fingers over his face as he finished brushing his teeth. He didn’t see himself as that handsome. His mother’s friends would still coo at him, mistaking him for being younger than he actually was. Boys at school would pick him last for sports and call him fag in the hallways. Girls had never paid attention to Eddie in  _ that _ way. He didn’t think any of them were that pretty anyway, but it was still quite a blow to his ego that they had decided he wasn’t worthy of their observation.

In all aspects of his life, Eddie felt rather average. He had grown used to it.

Still, as he scrutinised himself in the mirror, he wondered if one day someone would find him attractive enough to marry. He knew his mother wanted him to marry a sweet Catholic girl. Maybe he could find someone at one of the churches in New York. Sonia would be thrilled. A church wedding, a honeymoon somewhere warm, a white picket fence, three kids and a dog named Buddy. It sounded so perfect on paper.

So why did it make Eddie feel sick inside?

“Maybe I’m just made to be alone,” Eddie murmured at himself in the mirror before shaking his head, turning the tap on to splash cold water on his face and wiping himself down with a soft towel from the rack. He made his way to his bedroom, grabbing his Rosary beads from his drawer and kneeling down in front of his bed for his final prayer of the night. He murmured through a decade, fingers clasped around the beads in his lap as he didn’t stammer on a word. 

“Thank you, my Lord,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the cross before setting his Rosary back in his drawer and pulling back the sheets to his neatly made bed, climbing inside. This was the time that Eddie would fear- turning off the light, cascading himself in darkness. He’d always been a little afraid of the dark, ever since he was a kid. At that time, his father could check for monsters under the bed and curb Eddie’s worries and he’d be able to fall asleep easily. But Frank wasn’t here anymore and Eddie had to learn to fight the monsters himself. It helped to think about his favourite stories from the Bible; David and Goliath, Abraham’s Covenant, John the Baptist…

After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, Eddie’s eyes grew heavy and he allowed himself to fall into a sleep.

\---------------

“ _ Eddie. _ .” 

When Eddie’s eyes opened, he found himself lying on a soft bed of grass. His fingers ran over the green strands, breathing in the sweet scent. It smelled as though the grass had just been cut, but looking at it it almost looked perfectly untouched, like it hadn’t been disturbed in years. Eddie closed his eyes again to just focus on breathing in the sweet scent, fingers gripping in the foliage. After a few moments, he let his eyes open again to stare at his surroundings. It was some sort of garden or forest, trees and bushes and flowers decorating his eyesight. He slowly sat up, tilting his head back to stare at the sky. It was the most beautiful blue he had ever seen, not a cloud in sight. Eddie sighed happily, drinking it all in. 

“ _ Eddie _ ..” 

The next blink of Eddie’s eyes, he had moved. It didn’t frighten him though. For some reason, he knew that he was safe here. His new position was simply moved further into the garden, next to a beautiful apple orchard tree. This tree would give Farmer Hanlon a run for his money, Eddie thought as he ran his fingers over the bark. It was large and the energy it exuded through Eddie’s fingertips was calming and grounding. Looking up, Eddie could see a shiny red apple, glinting to him in the sunlight. His fingers ached to touch.

“ _ Eddie _ ..” 

The boy’s gaze was averted from the tree to turn its attention to the sound of his name. He stumbled back against the trunk of the tree when he saw what it was calling out to him. Through the untouched grass trailed the serpent from his church. Eddie immediately knew it was the same snake; it had the same scale pattern he had relentlessly memorised, the same forked tongue flicking out from between its sharp teeth, the same beady eyes locked onto Eddie and Eddie only.

Despite this, Eddie wasn’t afraid. He had been shaken by the first appearance of the large creature slithering towards him, but as it approached and made its way to Eddie’s feet, slinking over and around them, the boy felt no fear. He knew the serpent couldn’t harm him, not while he was here by the tree. 

The snake wrapped its way around Eddie’s ankles one last time, before coming to a halt in front of him. Eddie blinked down at the emerald reptile, tilting his head. The snake mimicked his actions, turning his head to mirror him. His beady eyes didn’t leave Eddie’s for a second, as if he was warning Eddie not to leave his sight. Despite this being Eddie’s own dream, he didn’t doubt for a second that he wouldn’t be able to escape this creature even if he wanted to. 

“ _ I see you staring at it _ ,” the serpent told Eddie, its forked tongue flickering as it hissed. It didn’t so much as speak as look into Eddie’s mind and put the words in there. In all other cases, it would’ve been disconcerting but Eddie was not afraid. It was a dream, this didn’t have to make sense. Instead he simply blinked at the snake, confused. “ _ The apple, my child _ .”

Eddie’s eyes once again where drawn to the apple perched in the branches of the tree. It was as red as before, possibly even more so. Weirdly enough, it was almost as though it was the only apple left in the tree, as if it had specifically been left there for him. Even so, there was a feeling deep down inside of his stomach that was telling him not to touch it. That something bad might happen if he did. He could feel the snake moving again and watched as it wrapped its way around the trunk of the tree, slithering around the bark until it was face to face with Eddie. Here, he could see the serpent’s eyes up close; they were a bright blue, almost human-like. 

“ _ Look Eddie _ ,” the snake almost cooed, drawing Eddie’s eyes toward the apple again. “ _ Look how it drips with the dew. I bet it’s juice is so sweet. Don’t you want to try it _ .. _? _ ” Eddie nodded his head, watching as if on command the apple began to shimmer with splashes of water as though it had just been washed. Eddie wanted nothing more than to reach up and wrap his fingers around the fruit, pluck it from its branch and sink his teeth into the crisp fruit. He could almost hear the serpent chuckling and he watched as it slunk further up the tree. It wrapped its way around the branch that the apple sat on and gently plucked it from the twig with its teeth on the stem. Eddie instinctively knew to hold his palm out and it dropped, landing directly in the clutch of his hand. 

It felt perfect. It  _ looked _ perfect. Eddie turned it over in his palm, running his thumb against some of the moistness. It looked faultless in every way, no bumps, no bruises, spherical in shape. Eddie held it to his nose, breathing in the crisp scent and he let out a soft sigh. There was nothing he wanted more than to bite into the apple and taste its sweet juices on his tongue.

“ _ Do it, sweetheart _ ,” the snake told him, slithering back down to eye level with Eddie. “ _ Go on, take a bite.. There’s no one here to find out, just me and you. Nobody needs to know _ ..” 

Eddie knew that the snake was right. In the time he had been here, he hadn’t seen another soul wandering the garden. Not another human, not an animal, not even a fly. They were alone. Despite the feeling in his stomach that he shouldn’t do this, that it was wrong, what exactly would happen if he  _ did _ bite into the fruit? It was an apple, it would grow again. That was the beauty of nature. And Eddie was hungry and tired and the fruit was calling his name. Surely one bite wouldn’t hurt.

The snake had made its way down to Eddie’s feet again, slowly beginning to wrap its way around his leg and make its way up his thigh. It rested its head on Eddie’s shoulder after wrapping a loop around his upper arm, securing itself on his body, and Eddie could hear the flicker of its tongue against the shell of his ear.

“ _ One bite, sweetheart. C’mon, just one bite _ ..”

Eddie’s teeth dug into the fruit and the first bite was as sweet as he imagined it to be. Eddie hummed happily, his eyes falling closed as he savoured the fruit on his tongue. Juice flowed down his chin and he could feel the snake’s grip around his arm tighten as he reached up for another bite.

“ _ Looks like it's turned bad, sweetheart. _ .”

Eddie’s expression soured as the taste of the apple in his mouth did and immediately he spat it out. When he looked at the apple again, it was a dark molded green colour and the hole that he had bitten out of the fruit was full of maggots, squirming and crawling with disease. Eddie flung the fruit as far away from himself as he could, beginning to squirm to try and get the lying serpent off of him. He found himself unable to cry out for help, his voice useless, but despite that it was too late. The snake was already wrapping its way around Eddie’s neck, squeezing harshly. Eddie’s fingers wrapped around the body of the serpent as he fell into the grass, trying to pry it away but it just squeezed tighter around his throat. Eddie’s vision was starting to bleed black at the edges, unable to breathe.

The last thing he saw was the serpent unlocking its jaw, widening its mouth to consume Eddie whole.

\---------------

Eddie sat up in his bed, shivering with cold sweats. He reached out, grabbing at his bedsheets, then his hands, his neck, his hair. He panted as he gripped at his neck, unsure of what he was checking for. He couldn’t remember any of the nightmare he had just had. It was a hazy memory which Eddie couldn’t even remember the details of. He reached for his inhaler, taking two deep puffs of the medicine before setting it aside again and bracing his head in his hands, holding himself as he calmed down.

He almost shot out of bed once again as his alarm went off, signalling it was time to get up for his day. It was weird how he had managed to wake up just before his alarm, but he was thankful for the distraction. He pressed the button to silence the alarm and slid out from underneath his sheets to go and grab another shower despite the fact he had had one the previous night. 

By breakfast, he was okay again, his fear from the night before washed away by the stream of his shower. His mother fixed the tie of his uniform for him, kissing his forehead and telling him how smart he looked and Eddie smiled around his oatmeal. He finished up and went to grab his backpack, pressing a kiss to his mother’s cheek and heading to the door.

“Good luck in your presentation today, Eddie-bear!” she called as he reached for the handle. 

“Thanks ma!” he replied, walking out into the streets of Derry and starting the long walk to school. Eddie didn’t have a car like most of the kids in his class and although he had a bike, it had been stolen more than once by assholes who didn’t have anything better to do. Eddie found it easier to walk than having to go and fish his bike out of the Barrens after school most days. It took about the same amount of time.

Whilst Eddie walked, he tried to remember the contents of his dream the night previous. He could think of vague details- the smell of grass, a tree, some sort of animal. But that was it. He guessed it wasn’t unusual for people to forget their dreams. In fact, he guessed that that was a pretty normal thing to happen. Dreams weren’t meant to be remembered, they were supposed to be forgotten. It was the body's catharsis and Eddie decided it was completely unhealthy to dwell on such a thing. He had much more important things to worry about, like his French presentation that afternoon worth a huge chunk of his grade. Reality was more important.

As Eddie made his way past the school gates, the sound of a loud engine shocked him out of his thoughts. He tilted his head up to see a large truck making its way into the school parking lot. He made his way in, raising his eyebrow as he watched the truck park up in one of the teacher parking bays, loud music blaring from the speakers. Eddie should’ve guessed who it was; Richie Tozier stepped out of the driver’s side door, immediately lighting up a cigarette and leaning against the side of his truck. Eddie rolled his eyes as a group of sophomore girls stood in a gaggle by Richie’s car, giggling as they spied on him. It was all very juvenile and Eddie did not have the time or patience to deal with it. 

He stormed past the hulk of metal Richie probably called, “ _ his baby _ ,” or something equally douchebaggy and into the school, going to his locker so he could sort his things out for the day ahead. He wasn’t sure why he disliked Richie so much. Maybe it was the fact that he was totally unchristian, though Eddie hadn’t really had a problem with those sort of guys before. Maybe it was the fact he was so blatantly disrespectful of his surroundings. Eddie hated the kids who were so openly atheist, so openly blind to all that their God had done for them and instead actively tried to be as ignorant as possible. It was unnecessary to play such loud, blasphemous music as he made his way into the parking lot. Eddie decided that was his grievance with Richie Tozier; he was an ignorant asshole.

Eddie slammed his locker shut, proud that he had achieved something already that day and it wasn’t even nine am.

His day was going pretty well until his name was called out over the speakers in English class. He looked up from his novel as the principal’s assistant’s voice called over the intercom, “Can Edward Kaspbrak please come to the principal’s office as soon as possible?” Not only was Eddie flustered because she had decided to use his given name and now the whole class was staring and giggling at him, but he also had no idea why he was being called to the principal’s office. He tried wracking his brain for things that he could’ve done wrong, but he simply had no idea what he possibly could have done. There was was a sinking feeling in his stomach as he thought maybe the reason he couldn’t remember what happened last night was because he had blacked out and done something to vandalise the school and even though he knew there was absolutely no way that could have possibly ever happened it was still screaming in the back of his head. Eddie grabbed his inhaler to take two deep puffs of it and the principal’s assistant told him to calm down and that he wasn’t in trouble and that he just wanted to ask him for a favour. Eddie nodded and within seconds he was being ushered into the room.

Eddie looked at the principal with wide eyes, sitting himself in the chair in front of his desk and clasping his hands in his lap. 

“Hello Eddie,” the principal said, causing Eddie to look up from his hands, swallowing down his stress. “There’s no need to worry, I just wanted to ask a simple favour of you. You know you’re one of the brightest and most respected students here at Immaculate Heart.”

“Thank you, sir,” Eddie told the principal, fiddling his thumbs together in his lap. He was a little soothed by the praise, but not that much. It still didn’t quench the fear in his stomach, the feeling that something bad was going to happen.

“Of course, Eddie,” he smiled, before reaching for the phone sitting on his desk as it started to ring. “Get yourself some water, you seem a little stressed.” Eddie stood up, heading for the water cooler in the corner of the room and grabbing himself a cup. He made his way back to his seat, holding the water in his lap and making no attempt to sip at it.

“Yes, send him in please, thank you Brenda,” the principal spoke into the phone, before setting it down. “Now, you may know that our school got a new student yesterday, Mr Kaspbrak. There was no time to give him a tour because we rather he got settled in his classes for the time being. He’s had a rough few days and we thought it’d be better to let him keep his routine. He needs to be given a look around the school, though, and I thought you’d be a great help.” Eddie was hardly listening, focussing on his breathing instead. “Ah, here he is now. Come on in, Mr Tozier.” As soon as the door opened, Eddie’s water cup fell from his hands and onto the carpet below him. He swerved his head to stare at the boy who entered the room, his eyes narrowing.  _ Him _ . He hadn’t even realised he’d spilled his water until the principal was asking, “Eddie! Are you alright?” and going to grab him some paper towels from on top of the water cooler. He stared down at his shoes, taking the paper towels as they were handed to him. 

“Clumsy,” Richie said as he sat himself down in the chair next to Eddie, crossing a leg over his thigh and not making any attempt to help him clean himself up. Eddie scowled at him, before going back to patting himself dry, huffing softly. So he thinks he’s clever, Eddie thought, throwing the paper towels in the small bin. “So, what's this about, Mr…” He reached over to grab the name placard sitting on the front of his desk, squinting at it. “Michaels.” He held it in his lap, Eddie wide-eyed watching the display. The principal coughed, but didn't tell Richie to put it back and anger simmered in Eddie’s stomach at the blatant lack of respect Richie was being able to get away with at that moment.

“Richie, this is Eddie Kaspbrak-” the principal told Richie, but he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

“Oh yeah, we’ve got RS class together, right?” Richie interrupted, sitting back in his seat as he looked over at Eddie, running his eyes up and down his body. Eddie simply looked away, trying not to flush under his gaze. 

“Yes, quite,” the principal began again, obviously growing frustrated but trying not to show it. “I’ve asked him if he doesn’t mind giving you a tour and he kindly agreed, isn’t that right Eddie?”

“Yes,” Eddie said simply, not wanting to give Richie any ammunition.

“Aren’t you just a peach,” Richie smirked, folding his arms. “You can show me all the best places to smoke-” He turned back to the principal. “Totally joking, of course.” 

“Of course..” the principal said, pushing back from his desk and standing up. Eddie did the same and Richie followed shortly after, still gripping the placard in his hands. “Right, well, I’m sure Eddie will be happy to show you around now.” Eddie nodded, wanting to get this over and done with as soon as possible. “Great, I’ll see you boys around.”

“Thank you, sir,” Eddie said, before turning to leave the room and he was almost sure he heard the other boy wolf whistle at the term. A moment later, Richie joined him in the hall, still gripping the name placard in his hand. He flipped it over in his grip as the two stared each other down.

“I actually wasn’t joking,” Richie said, shoving the wooden name card in his backpack. “Though I’m supposing you don’t smoke that much, do you sweetheart?”

Eddie broke his gaze first at the nickname, scoffing and muttering, “This way..” and he could hear the other boy laughing as he followed Eddie out of the office and into the empty halls of The Immaculate Heart High School. 

This was going to be a long fucking tour.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is
> 
> @creamykaspbrak  
> creamykaspbrak.tumblr.com
> 
> if you would like to leave me sum love <3


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